Holding Back-An Excerpt from “Life Spices” By Estelle Farley

 

HOLDING BACK

I don’t have the strength:

to shave my legs

be funny and charming

show interest in contact sports

cook

pretend to eat salads ALL the time

shop for sexy lingerie

make sure I don’t wear the same outfit twice

agonize over my shapely shortcomings

get a background check

condom shop

do my muscle-tensing exercises–hourly

hide my PMS symptoms

hold my farts

sleep in the wet spot

try not to snore

and

angle our conversations,

so you only see my best side